The Terrible Switchings
by incurelf
Summary: Aragorn and Arwen are not acting like themselves. In fact, they are acting like each other...Arwen is going for the rugged, outdoorsy look, and Aragorn actually WANTS to bathe...find out the whole story...inside. No slash. A WIP. New Chapters up: 6 & 7
1. In which we see the problem

Hey, people, this came to me while I was cleaning my room. Not sure what you'll think, but I'm having fun with it, so enjoy. And if you plan on flaming or end up flaming, I could really care less because all 23 of my muses will have loads of fun. But do try and be original about it. 1) If you are annoyed because it's 'unrealistic' note that this is PARODY. 2) If it's 'so stupid' that you 'didn't even read it' then how do you know it's stupid? 3) Don't even bother telling me not to write anymore because I love to write and I'm not about to fire 23 muses.  
  
Disclaimer: Je ne possede pas aucun de ces caracteres. Je possedent seulement mes muses. Je ne possede pas meme cette traduction.que je ne parle pas francais! (yes I know that's kind of messed up but I got it off of a website, ok??)  
  
Scene: FOTR - After the fight at Amon Hen. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are beside the lake.river.thing.  
  
Legolas shoved a boat into the water. "Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the Eastern shore!"  
  
"Nuh-uh, girl friend!" Aragorn said, in a distinctly feminine voice.somewhat similar to Arwen's, when Legolas thought about it. The elf looked at his friend. He twitched.  
  
Aragorn coughed. "Erm.sorry. Right. Umm.what's my line? Oh.let's go like, hunt some orc!" The last bit was said in that Arwen-voice again. Legolas was really getting creeped out.  
  
Scene: Arwen and Elrond in Rivendell. Elrond is trying to convince Arwen to go to the Grey Havens.  
  
"Go Valinor, sweetie! Please! And.um.take a bath. You stink." Elrond admonished his daughter.  
  
"But I'm going for the rugged, outdoorsy look."  
  
"Arwen."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Like, nothing, Daddy! And like oh my gawd, I visited Aragorn in this like, dream and like."  
  
Elrond breathed a sigh of relief. He had though.but no, he wouldn't think about it. That would be awful.  
  
"And like, anyway, I told him."  
  
"Dude, Arwen. Like, shut up!" This came from Elladan, who was walking by with Elrohir.  
  
"Umm, like, no! I'm telling Daddy about Aragorn. Now tell me." Arwen leaned forward. "How's my stubble? Nice and manly?"  
  
Elladan and Elrohir chose to ignore this. "Do you want to go piss off ol' Legsie's dad?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"Sure, man," his twin replied.  
  
"No! Elladan! Elrohir! Come back here." Elrond gave up, but sighed. Thranduil was going to be really pissed at him. In one way or another, the twins always seemed to manage to bother Thranduil in some way. Even worse was when they teamed up with Legolas. Why, they had even teamed up with Legolas and Aragorn once! That had been awful.Elrond decided that he was very glad that Legolas and Aragorn had decided to go on the Quest. Besides, that gave him time to convince Arwen to go to Valinor.though she was being annoyingly stubborn. Then again, Arwen was always annoying. Elrond always noticed his drug intake decrease whenever Arwen was in Lorien with Galadriel and Celeborn. Maybe Galadriel could convince her.yes.  
  
"Arwen?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How would you like to visit your grandmother?"  
  
"Sure! She's hot!"  
  
"Arwen."  
  
"Erm.sure, Dad. Of course."  
  
Elrond breathed another sigh of relief.  
  
"Ok. You're leaving in twenty minutes, then."  
  
"I could go now."  
  
"Arwen, that dress is probably one of the most inappropriate for traveling I've ever seen."  
  
"But it'll get all dirty and look rugged and manly."  
  
"Fine. Leave. But leave now! Glorfindel's on the warpath."  
  
"That wasn't my fault. Peter Jackson wanted more romance or something. Glorfindel should take his case to him."  
  
"What about Tom Bombadil?"  
  
"Like, what about him?"  
  
"Well.Peter Jackson left him out as well."  
  
"I like, don't care, Daddy. Can I leave?"  
  
"Yes. Namaarie, tinuamin."  
  
"Namaarie, atar."  
  
She left, swaggering around in a distinctly masculine way. Elrond shook his head. Something definitely wasn't right here.but Galadriel would figure it out. For a minute, he considered telepathing her to let her know, but decided that Haldir needed something to do. Although he did plan on getting Galadriel to send him to Aragorn's and Rohan's aid, if need be. And there would be. He did have the gift of foresight, after all. He just prayed that Arwen would never foresee anything. What if she saw her son? Elrond sighed. He really needed some stress relief.  
  
"Celebrian?"  
  
"What? Where are those sons of yours? Have they gone off to Mirkwood again?"  
  
"I don't know. But something's wrong with Arwen."  
  
"We knew that."  
  
"No, I mean really wrong. She keeps saying things that sound much more like Aragorn than Arwen."  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
"Estel."  
  
"He changed his name?" "No. That's his real name."  
  
"Oh! That's right. Silly me. Anyway, what were you saying? Arwen?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Scene: Plains of Rohan.  
  
"Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?" Aragorn yelled.  
  
"The Uruks turn northeast! They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Legolas shouted back.  
  
"Ew, isn't Isengard like, really dirty?"  
  
"Aragorn."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You sound like Arwen."  
  
"Who's Arwen?" Gimli interrupted.  
  
"His.umm." Legolas looked at Aragorn for the appropriate term.  
  
"Like, the hottest elf chick ever!" Aragorn said, tossing his hair. "Ew, I like, must wash my hair!"  
  
"I thought you weren't washing your hair until you became - ow!" Legolas hit Gimli. "What?"  
  
"I'll explain later," the elf hissed back. Aragorn was looking at them.  
  
"What?" Legolas said. "C'mon, we should go."  
  
"But like, Leggy!"  
  
"Aragorn."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Legolas sincerely hoped that that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it was not. After another day of Aragorn switching between Aragorn mannerisms and Arwen mannerisms, Legolas had had enough. He spoke to Gimli in private and they agreed to send word to Elrond, Galadriel, and Elrond.  
  
"What about, uh, your father?" Gimli asked Legolas after the letters were sent.  
  
"Are you kidding? If he is sober by the time Frodo ditches the you-know- what I'll be very much surprised. That, and the fact that I have a feeling Elladan and Elrohir will be paying him a visit."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Elrond's twin sons. Sometimes they visit and well, we get up to.things. And Thranduil gets really mad. Once Aragorn joined us, too. That was fun!" Legolas sighed. Thranduil would not be happy when he discovered that Legolas hadn't written to him, but he would have to get over that. Legolas made a mental note to bring his father some very good, strong wine.  
  
Scene: Lorien  
  
"Hey, Galadriel! I'm like, here!" Arwen called. She had just stepped into Lothlorien. Suddenly Haldir appeared. "Mae govannen, Haldir. You are most welcome." Arwen said to him.  
  
"Erm.right. Ok, the thing is, we weren't really expecting you and - Lady Arwen?"  
  
Arwen looked up from running her fingers through her hair and on her chin. "I like, so have to get a bath, what was I thinking? It feels like Arry's hair, ugh!"  
  
"Oookkk. Look, the thing is, Lady Arwen, that you're supposed to come with me," Haldir said firmly. He was really getting creeped out. Sure, Arwen's hair did look a lot like Aragorn's.but he had never heard of a day in all of Arwen's 3,000+ years that she hadn't washed her hair and body, something the younger male elves liked quite a lot. And if her hair was resembling Aragorn's, well, Haldir didn't know anything for sure, but he had heard that from the day Estel, as he was known then, was informed of his true name and heritage, he had made a vow to not wash his hair until he was king, except on very important occasions. Haldir sighed and he led Arwen to her normal suite in Lorien. Maybe he would go talk to Orophin and Rumil. 


	2. In which Galadriel discovers the problem

"Arwen, how nice to see you!" said Galadriel. "But what is with your hair? Haven't you washed it today?"  
  
"Nope. I'm going for the rugged, outdoorsy look. You know, greasy hair, stubble. It's supposed to look very manly." Arwen replied calmly.  
  
"Arwen, what have you done?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's the exact same thing Aragorn said to me when the Fellowship came through. Did you try to give him your immortality?" Galadriel demanded.  
  
"No."  
  
"You didn't."  
  
"Nope. I didn't try, I did give him my immortality."  
  
"Ai, Undomiel!" Galadriel cried. "Did you not know? He gave you his love, and you gave him your immortality, which means that he got some of your feminine side and you got some of his er.masculine side."  
  
"Really?" Arwen was fascinated.  
  
"Arwen, focus! This is very bad. I can't believe you."  
  
Haldir poked his head around the door. "A message just came from Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood, my lady."  
  
"Bring it here." Galadriel ordered. Haldir handed it to her. "Let's see. 'Lady Galadriel, Currently Aragorn, Gimli, and myself are traveling across the Rohan plains. However, Aragorn has not been himself. He keeps slipping up and talking like Arwen. It is extremely worrying, not to mention incredibly annoying. Is there anything we can do? Many thanks, Legolas Greenleaf'. Arwen, go to your suite. I'm contacting Elrond." 


	3. In which Galadriel does something about ...

Scene: Rivendell  
  
"Elrond? Elrond. Elrond, wake up. Elrond!" Galadriel's voice rang out sharply in Elrond's head.  
  
"What? Galadriel? Arwen can't come back, she's with you, she's stuck with you." Elrond warned.  
  
"Elrond, Arwen tried to give her immortality to Aragorn."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"You knew."  
  
"I suspected."  
  
"You knew and refused to admit it."  
  
"Wouldn't you?"  
  
"Obviously I just haven't."  
  
"Never mind. Is there anything we can do?"  
  
"It would require you, Arwen, and Aragorn being with me and Celeborn here in Lothlorien."  
  
"Aragorn's on a Quest."  
  
"Astral projection."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
Galadriel sent a mind glare to him.  
  
"Hey, I'm the one who glares. You just smile."  
  
"Whatever. Can you come?"  
  
"Fine, fine, but you had better tell Thranduil that because of this I am not responsible for my sons' actions."  
  
"They're in Mirkwood, aren't they."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Sucks to be you."  
  
"Thranduil's probably so drunk he won't notice."  
  
"That's what you say every time."  
  
"It's called wishful thinking."  
  
"So what's your point?"  
  
"Nothing. Goodbye." Elrond shut off communication abruptly and sighed. Galadriel was right. He had known. But at least he wouldn't have hordes of Lorien elves in Imladris crowding everything and complaining about how Lothlorien was so much better. Galadriel always seemed to require a full retinue of stuck up, prissy, Lorien elves. And he wouldn't even think about how many Celeborn required.not to mention those stupid Marchwarden brothers. 


	4. In which they try to solve the problembu...

Chapter Four: In which we attempt to solve the problem.  
  
To my reviewers (as of 29.12.2003):  
  
I'm From Tookland: Yes. 23. I added about 8 after seeing "Return of the King". What a great movie. But watch it if you get anymore - It was hard with 9. Now it's chaos. :-D  
  
DoomedQueenAnne: Thank you, thank you. Hope you like t'rest.  
  
Scene: Lorien  
  
Galadriel sighed. Everyone except Aragorn was present, and Arwen was having a lot of trouble contacting him. She kept acting like Aragorn and rushing off to get dirty, then going back to Arwen and going off to wash. It was really getting annoying, so finally Galadriel said, "Arwen. Stop. I am going to contact Aragorn. Stay there with your father. Ok?"  
  
"Fine," Arwen said huffily. She flounced over to where Elrond was seated and sat down next to him, pouting.  
  
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Arwen, you are going to see Aragorn again. For a minute," Elrond said to his daughter.  
  
"Really?" Arwen said, incredulous. Elrond glared at her. "What?" she demanded. Elrond sighed. How, how had he gotten a daughter so stupid? By the Valar.  
  
"Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing." Elrond glanced at Galadriel. Good. She was already contacting Aragorn.  
  
Mindspeaking -  
  
"Aragorn."  
  
"Dude, I'm like, sleeping here! I need my beauty sleep, so if you'll kindly go away now."  
  
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's Heir, Estel, Strider, Elfstone, Elessar, and whatever else your names are you will answer me now." Galadriel said bossily.  
  
Aragorn sighed. "Oooo kkk. But let me put my make up on."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Fine, fine. What do you want?"  
  
"You're coming to Lothlorien. Now." Galadriel informed him.  
  
"What?" Aragorn was confused, but it didn't matter as a second later he vanished in golden, elven magical light.  
  
"Wwwwooooowwww." Aragorn said. Then he saw Arwen. "Arwen!"  
  
"Aragorn!"  
  
"Like, hey babe!"  
  
"Hello sexy." Arwen said, fluttering her eyelids at him  
  
"So like, what are we here for, babe?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Umm, see, I like, gave you some of my feminine side and like, vice versa with you." Arwen told him.  
  
"Fascinating."  
  
"Aragorn, you sound like Spock." Elrond said.  
  
"Oh, he's a distant cousin of my mother's uncle's great-aunt's sister."  
  
"Oooookkkk."  
  
"Can we please get started?" Galadriel demanded.  
  
"Yes." Everyone agreed.  
  
"Celeborn, we're ready!" Galadriel called. Her husband entered, carrying a beautifully decorated chest.  
  
"Here," he said. "It's in there."  
  
"Thanks, honey!" Galadriel winked at him. Celeborn grinned and exited.  
  
"Ok, repeat after me, you two." Galadriel commanded.  
  
"Ok, repeat after me, you two." Aragorn said obediently.  
  
"No, Estel! Wait!" Elrond said, exasperated. He smacked his foster son.  
  
"Very sorry Elrond."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"Anyway, Arwen, repeat. I, Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of my people, take back my gift of immortality to Aragorn."  
  
"But I don't."  
  
"Just say it!"  
  
"Fine. I, Arwen Undomiel - but you aren't me."  
  
"I know that, girl, just say it!!"  
  
"Right. I, Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of my people, take back my gift of immortality to Aragorn."  
  
"Good. Now, Aragorn. I, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, give back the gift of immortality to Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of her people."  
  
"I, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, give back the gift of immortality to Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of her people." Aragorn repeated.  
  
"Did it work?" Elrond inquired.  
  
"We'll see," said Galadriel.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Next chapter."  
  
"Right, then."  
  
Review, svp! :-D  
  
Also, if anyone out there knows how to get italics and bold and stuff up on ff.net on stories, I would LOVE to know. Thank you, everyone, I love you all. :-D  
  
Incurelf 


	5. In which we discover if the problem was ...

Chapter 5: In which we discover whether it worked or not.  
  
My muses are back! And the reviewers are coming! I love you guys! Mwah!  
  
Happy molecule: Yes, yes. Poor Elrond. :-D And many thanks.  
  
DISCLAIMER: FAN FICTION. Note the word FAN. Sure you can be a fan of your own work, but c'mon, really. When was the last time you wrote something original and then wrote fanfiction about it? Exactly.  
  
Gimli awoke while the sun was still rising. He looked around, and located the elf leaning against a tree, plainly wide awake, but worried. "What's wrong?" he inquired.  
  
"Aragorn has vanished." Legolas replied. "I saw him leave. He was sleeping, then we was muttering in his sleep, and suddenly he was bathed in golden light and vanished. I can only hope that it was the Lady Galadriel that summoned him to Lorien for some reason."  
  
"Ach, Aragorn can take care of himself. But what should we do? Continue?" the dwarf wanted to know.  
  
"I don't see why not. Galadriel can send him to wherever we are." Legolas replied.  
  
"But what if it wasn't Galadriel that summoned him?" Gimli demanded. He was frowning.  
  
"Look, if we wait here and Aragorn comes back from wherever he is, then there will be no hope of catching up to the Uruk-Hai. I'm hoping that Galadriel got our message and is solving the problem now," said the elf.  
  
"Och." Realisation dawned on the dwarf. The elf was right. Wait, since when were elves right? This wasn't good. "Well, I suppose so." Gimli was careful to hide his confusion.  
  
"Yes, Master Dwarf, elves are quite often correct in what they say and do, which is more than I can say for the dwarves."  
  
"What? I said nothing!"  
  
"You didn't need to." Legolas grinned at him. Gimli relented and returned the smile. Then he picked up his axe and began to run.  
  
"You'd better hurry. Only the minority of pointy-ears that can keep up with me!" he yelled back. Legolas smiled and caught up with him in a few strides.  
  
"But I'm not in the majority of 'pointy-ears', as you so charmingly named us."  
  
"Gah."  
  
LORIEN:  
  
"So, did it work?" Elrond demanded.  
  
"I don't know," Galadriel replied. "Arwen, why is your hair dirty?"  
  
"Ew, it's dirty? I have to go wash it!" said Arwen, horrified.  
  
"Aragorn, why did you wash?" Galadriel inquired.  
  
"What? I - no! How could I?" Aragorn dashed off to dirty himself.  
  
"I think it worked."  
  
"Let's hope so."  
  
"Excuse me, but-" Haldir poked his head in.  
  
"No. Don't tell me. My sons are in Mirkwood, wreaking havoc"  
  
"Something along those lines," Haldir agreed.  
  
"Damn."  
  
"You should go," Galadriel said. "Namaarie."  
  
"Namaarie."  
  
Elrond left, cursing. On his way back to Rivendell, he stopped at Mirkwood.  
  
"Thranduil! How good to see you!" he said cheerfully.  
  
"Elrond, you let your sons come and disturb everything again!" Thranduil yelled.  
  
"What did they do this time?  
  
"Replaced all of my best wine with grape juice."  
  
"Well, what happened to the wine?"  
  
"Put it in the plumbing system."  
  
"So take a bath."  
  
"Elrond."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's not the point. I thought you had forbidden them to come here."  
  
"I did, but after a certain age you can't control the blighters anymore!"  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"Don't you act like it's not true. It is, and you know it. What about your youngest?"  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"Don't you remember that time when Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan, and Elrohir watered all of the wine?" Elrond demanded.  
  
"Don't even remind me."  
  
BACK ON THE TRAIL OF THE URUK-HAI:  
  
Aragorn appears on the plain right in front of where Legolas and Gimli are running. Gimli, of course, runs into him.  
  
"What? Aragorn! Where were you, laddie?"  
  
"I was in Lothlorien," the man replied. "Getting my, umm, problem fixed."  
  
"Your problem? And what was that, pray tell, Aragorn," Legolas said sarcastically. "Or should I say Arwen now?"  
  
Aragorn blushed. "No one told us that if an elf gives away her immortality that there are - well, side-effects!"  
  
"Side-effects?" Legolas raised one eyebrow. "Aragorn, you kept arguing with yourself over whether you should bathe or not!"  
  
"Erm, sorry about that," Aragorn said, embarrassed.  
  
"So, you're back to normal?" Gimli inquired.  
  
"Yes, I think so. There's no way to test it except for just going about your business," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Well, let's hope it worked. Now we should really get moving again, we're wasting time," Legolas said, striding away.  
  
Gimli and Aragorn started up, too. Aragorn caught up with Legolas and asked, "Well, how far have we gotten?"  
  
"We? Gimli and I have traveled a good deal farther. Does it matter? We're catching up, come on!" Legolas glared at his friend and picked up speed. Aragorn sighed and continued to run.  
  
LOTHLORIEN:  
  
"Galadriel, what did you need that box for? The one that I put in there before the thing.*" Celeborn asked his wife.  
  
"Nothing," she said evasively.  
  
"You needed it for something."  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Me."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I'm co-ruler of Lothlorien. Your husband. Now tell me, what did you need it for? That little ceremony certainly didn't fix the problem."  
  
"Well," Galadriel said, smiling, "it should have. Or, if that was the only problem, then it should have."  
  
Celeborn looked at her suspiciously. "What did you do, my dear?"  
  
"Well, you know how Arwen tried to give her immortality to Aragorn and their personalities switched?"  
  
"Ye-es. What's your point?"  
  
"Well, that's fixed, true enough. But, well," Galadriel smiled, a glint of mischief in her starry eyes. "These things can backfire sometimes. You know, if maybe they start to look like each other, physically. I don't know, maybe if Arwen and Aragorn weren't sincere. Not that me or that chest had anything to do with it." Galadriel glanced over to it.  
  
"And it just so happens that there is magic in there that can cause that type of thing. Coincidence, don't you know. Am I right?" Celeborn said, grinning.  
  
"Why, yes. It's all about coincidence," Galadriel replied, and they walked gracefully away, Galadriel to go look in the Mirror, and Celeborn to hang out with Haldir and the other Marchwardens.  
  
"Oh, and Celeborn!" Galadriel called back.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm throwing a party tonight at 8. Bring anyone you like."  
  
"What are we doing?"  
  
"Watching how the day went with the lovers, of course!"  
  
"Then I shall be there!"  
  
Galadriel grinned, Celeborn chuckled, and they continued on their ways.  
  
ON THE TRAIL:  
  
"Aragorn, is it just me, or is your hair a little longer than usual?"  
  
  
  
*I don't believe this was mentioned before, but it happened. Really. I didn't just make this up now.  
  
So, you liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Attempted to blow your computer up because you're filled with such hatred towards those who do anything at all to your beloved characters and despise fanfiction as the root of all evil and/or the spawn of the devil? (Yes, I am making fun of you) Please, I would love to know!  
  
Incurelf.  
  
ACD1G2J1 + C1E6F3G1L4OPSTU1W2X1 + DAC1  
  
Or you could review if you're just wondering what the hell that code is. Yes, it's a code, yes, it means something. But do me a favour and if you do review just for that at least tell me if you liked or didn't like the story. I'm needy. I need reviews. :-D Love to all, mwah!  
  
Incurelf (again)  
  
Of course, you could always -  
  
Shut up  
  
Pardon?  
  
Never mind  
  
Bye!   
  
erm.right. Review, please. 


	6. In which we encounter yet another proble...

CHAPPIE 6  
  
DISCLAIMER: Please, people. Use your logic. I know you're all intelligent people. If it was mine.WOULD I BE WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT IT??!! NO!  
  
Right. On with it. Sending th' thanks and t'luv to happy molecule, my ever- faithful reviewer. Thank you very much for the reviews, I love them! Short, but sweet. It works.  
  
RIVENDELL:  
  
Arwen stormed into her father's room, fuming. "Daddy! Daddy!"  
  
Elrond sighed. "What, Arwen?"  
  
"My hair!" she cried.  
  
"What about it?" he asked wearily.  
  
"It's getting shorter!"  
  
"What?" Elrond stood up abruptly. This was a cause for concern. An elf's hair was one of it's greatest concerns - girl elves' hair could be no shorter than the small of their back, and a guy elf's no farther than the middle of their back. Arwen's hair was very long, but still.  
  
"Look, Daddy!" she wailed. "Look at it!"  
  
Elrond looked. He gasped. It was about one inch away from being right on the line. He remembered the last time such a thing had happened. It was his wife, and that was why she was attacked. Elves with the wrong hair length were very unlucky.  
  
"It's ok, Arwen, it's ok," he assured her.  
  
"No, it's not!" she wailed. Elrond patted her shoulder, but privately wondered what was happening. Perhaps it was Thranduil getting revenge.  
  
ON THE TRAIL:  
  
"Aragorn, stop. Just, stop!" Legolas called.  
  
"What?" Aragorn turned around, puzzled.  
  
"Your hair. We have to do something about it. And your face. Look how clean it is!" Legolas said.  
  
"He's right, you know. If you were an elf, I'd say you were starting to look like a girl elf," Gimli added.  
  
"Well, I'm not an elf," Aragorn said irritably. It was a bit of a touchy subject with him. "Look, see?" he rubbed one of his ears. And rubbed it again. Wasn't the top supposed to be rounded? Not - going up. No, it wasn't happening. It really wasn't happening -  
  
"Aragorn, you've got Elf-ears," Legolas commented. Aragorn glared at him.  
  
"I realised that, thank you!" he said angrily.  
  
"Well, you never know."  
  
Aragorn glared again.  
  
"Maybe it's a side effect of Galadriel's spell," Gimli suggested.  
  
"I doubt it," Legolas said, frowning. "If it was, Galadriel would've told him. So either she didn't know about this and is connected, doesn't know and isn't connected, or does know and is connected."  
  
"Or she knows but wasn't connected."  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
Aragorn glared at them. They obviously weren't taking this seriously. Then he remembered what Gimli had said. 'If you were an elf, I'd say you were starting to look like a girl elf'. A girl elf. "Shit!" the elf and dwarf jumped, not used to hearing Aragorn swear.  
  
"Dude, calm down. What's wrong?" Legolas asked his friend, worried.  
  
"Damn Galadriel!" Aragorn raged.  
  
"What?" Legolas was still confused. So was Gimli.  
  
"I AM turning into a girl elf!" Aragorn cried. "I'm turning into Arwen!"  
  
Bwahaha. Poor Aragorn and Arwen. Will they never escape their torment? Review to find out! Of course, you could always click the next chapter button, but that's not the point. Ok, long author messages get annoying, so I'll just say:  
  
Mwah!  
  
Incurelf. 


	7. In which poor Aragorn attempts to deal w...

Two days later, Aragorn and Arwen were furious. If anyone had been visiting in Rivendell, they would've been incredibly weirded out to see a very dirty man, apparently in drag. Anyone catching sight of the Three Hunters would've wondered why an Elf maiden was running along the Plains in such dirty, disgusting clothing.  
  
"This is so humiliating!" Aragorn shouted at Legolas and Gimli. "Can't you shut up?"  
  
The two, who by now were best friends, doubled over laughing again. Instead of Aragorn, it seemed to be Arwen who was screaming at them, but in Aragorn's voice.  
  
"Hey, Viggo, line!" someone hissed. Aragorn looked around. "What?"  
  
"You've got a line. Riders of Rohan, what news-"  
  
"Right, right."  
  
The three went behind some rocks and waited until the Rohirrim came.  
  
"Riders of Rohan, what news from the Mark?" Arwen's body shouted in Aragorn's voice.  
  
They turned around and surrouned Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli.  
  
"What business do two elves and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? And why are they traveling together? Speak quickly!"  
  
"Two elves?" Aragorn looks confused. Eomer looks even more so when he hears the man's voice coming out of the female elf's body.  
  
"Erm, yeah. If you hadn't noticed, dear lady, you are an elf."  
  
"I'm not an elf! My girlfriend is!" Aragorn shouted, annoyed.  
  
"Your girlfriend? I had no idea that elves were gay. Did any of you know that?" Eomer looked around at his men. They shook their heads. Legolas sighed.  
  
"Look, that is really Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Somehow he looks like his girlfriend, Arwen Undomiel instead of himself. That's his voice and his clothes. We can only assume that there's a man walking around in drag in Rivendell," Legolas explained.  
  
"Aah," said Eomer. "So, where you headed - my lady?" everyone guffawed. Aragorn glared at them.  
  
"Nice," approved Legolas. "You've been taking lessons from Elrond, haven't you."  
  
"Shut up, 'Leggy'!"  
  
"Mortal!"  
  
"Princeling!"  
  
"Dirty man!"  
  
"Hey, I'm a super hot elf babe right now, man."  
  
"Sorry. How about No-Brain?"  
  
"Legsie?"  
  
"Dumb-butt."  
  
"Feminine-elf."  
  
"Watch who you're calling feminine, 'Arwen!'"  
  
"Alright, you'll pay for that one!" Aragorn tackled Legolas. Legolas, being in his proper body, was at somewhat of an advantage, Aragorn being in a female's body and not used to the additional equipment. Eomer and his buddies watched, placing bets on who they thought would win. Aragorn had more rage, but Legolas was in his own body. Gimli was lifted in front of Eomer so as to be out of the way. And the fight continues. 


End file.
